“Baby blues” doesn’t even begin to explain your experience.

Maybe you’re surprised at how sad you are in this time of life that is supposed to be so happy. How can anyone be happy when doing every baby care task takes so much time and effort? Where is the time for me? I don’t even know who I am anymore.

Or maybe instead of the blues it’s anxiety about every little thing or disturbing thoughts of something bad happening to the baby. Worries that make it hard to sleep at night because you’re busy googling questions. Images that make your stomach drop every time they pop into your head. Anxiety persistent enough that it makes you wonder if this is normal. Maybe I’ll just look it up…

You’re looking for reassurance that this isn’t “just the way things are” now that you’re a parent. That there’s something you can do about this sadness or worry so you can finally enjoy being a parent.

Therapy for postpartum depression, anxiety, and OCD

Research has shown that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for anxiety and depression during pregnancy and the postpartum period, and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is effective for prenatal and postpartum OCD. Whether what you’re experiencing gets called postpartum depression, postnatal depression, perinatal anxiety, or simply “not feeling like myself,” these are common and highly treatable conditions. None of them reflect your worth as a parent.

In our work together we can explore self-care strategies that are realistic to fit in as a new parent. I can help you shift that critical internal narrative so that you can feel confident and empowered as a parent, whether you birthed the child yourself or are transitioning to parenthood by other means, and whether this is your first child or your fifth. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with maternal mental health training, I bring specialized knowledge in the emotional challenges of pregnancy, birth, and the first years of parenthood to every session.

Postpartum depression in dads, partners, and non-birthing parents

Maybe you’re the one who’s supposed to be holding it all together. You went back to work while everything at home was still upside down. You’re watching the person you love disappear into feeding schedules and worry, and some nights you lie there wondering: when is it my turn to fall apart? Am I even allowed to?

About 1 in 10 non-birthing parents experience depression during pregnancy or postpartum, and it often looks different than you’d expect. More irritability than tears. Working late because home feels like a place where you can’t get anything right. Feeling shut out of the bond between your partner and the baby, and then feeling guilty for feeling shut out. You didn’t give birth, so people rarely think to ask how you’re doing. But becoming a parent happened to you, too.

New fathers, partners, and non-birthing parents of every kind are welcome in my practice, whether you’re struggling yourself, supporting a partner who is, or both at once. Your experience doesn’t have to be worse than anyone else’s to be worth taking care of.

Struggles after adoption or surrogacy

Everyone told you this would be the happy ending. After the paperwork and the waiting, the home studies or the embryo transfers, your child is finally here, and you’re supposed to feel nothing but grateful. So why do you feel numb? Why does the bond you expected seem to be taking so long? What kind of parent has to google “why don’t I feel connected to my baby”?

A loving one, for the record. Post-adoption depression is well documented, even though almost no one warns you about it, and parents through surrogacy can be hit with depression and anxiety in the first year too. You don’t need birth hormones to be knocked flat by new parenthood: sleep deprivation doesn’t check how your baby arrived, and attachment is a relationship that grows over weeks and months. The lightning bolt in the movies is fiction. If your bond is taking time, that says nothing about the kind of parent you are or will be.

There can be grief mixed in as well. Many parents come to adoption or surrogacy after infertility or pregnancy loss, and a child’s arrival doesn’t erase that history; sometimes it stirs it up when you least expect it. In our work together there’s room for all of it: the gratitude and the grief, and the love that’s still growing. If infertility or loss is part of how you became a parent, my pages on therapy for infertility and pregnancy loss may also speak to you.

Postpartum depression counseling near you: online in California

If you’ve been searching for a postpartum depression therapist near you, I offer secure online therapy for adults located anywhere in California. Online sessions are often a lifeline for new parents: no commute, no childcare puzzle, just support from your own home during nap time.

The transition to parenthood can also stir up other experiences that deserve care of their own. If intrusive thoughts or rituals have taken hold since pregnancy or birth, you may want to read about my work with OCD and ERP. If your path to parenthood included fertility struggles, you may find my page on therapy for infertility helpful. If this is your rainbow baby and you are still carrying grief from a miscarriage, stillbirth or termination, my pregnancy loss therapy page speaks to that experience directly.

You don’t have to tough out this season alone. Reaching out is often the hardest step, and it can start with a single appointment.

Schedule an Appointment

“Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain – your life will never be the same.”

– Catherine Jones